The Heart of the Matter
by PICKET-FENCES-CLOSER
Summary: Max makes a terrible mistake that implodes her marriage. Will her and Kenny's love be enough to bring them back to together or will they fall apart forever?
1. Chapter 1

Kenny and Max fic…as requested. I did like them better as friends, I thought they had a charming friendship before they got together romantically. Picks up two years after season four…can't promise it's going to be a happy fic.

* * *

 **Present – Lacos House**

No, Max thought, no. Flopping back on their bad, she put the positive pregnancy test on her chest. I can't be pregnant…not like this. Not when I don't know who the father is. My husband or the drunken mistake I made…one weekend and I may have blown my marriage to pieces. The one-night stand who…we agreed it was a mistake and that it wouldn't happen again. Then it did…over and over it happened that day. That weekend. I couldn't help myself.

"Max? Are you home?"

How do I do this? My sister's bachelorette party, drunk, damn me. No, get it confirmed…find out how far along I am…it's very likely Kenny's baby. Like 99% sure. "Yeah, upstairs."

"Is that an invitation?"

A good husband, she thought, and he doesn't deserve me cheating on him and possibly being pregnant by someone else. I suck. I suck so much. What was I thinking? Alcohol isn't an excuse…I'm a terrible wife. Flipping the pregnancy test in the trash and covering it. Not until I'm sure of the timeline…I don't have to hurt Kenny or tell him until I know. Three-years of marriage, with the last two filled with us trying to get pregnant and failing every month.

"Hey."

She smiled at him, before crossing their bedroom to him. "Hey yourself."

"Max?" he asked, as she kissed him and draped herself on him. "Hey there."

She smiled up at him. I screwed up…I belong with Kenny. I always have, and I may…no, it's his. It has to be his. I have to tell him. "I missed you."

"You look like you feel better."

"I slept and…I feel great. Better now that you're home with me."

Max, he thought, as she pushed him back on the bed and climbed on top.

* * *

 **8 Weeks Ago – Max**

"I'm getting married!" Sarah Stewart cried, hugging her sister. "I love you, Max!"

Max hugged her sister, the tequila messing with her head. "I love you, Sarah!"

"You're my favorite sister."

"I'm your only sister."

"Did you see the bartender's ass?"

* * *

 **Present – Jill's Office**

Jill smiled as she looked at Max in her office. "Your home test was right, Max. Congratulations, you're pregnant."

No, she thought, no…not now. I need more time. Smile. Be happy. "I am?"

She looked at her shell-shocked friend. "You look to be about eight-weeks along, Max."

She felt the floor drop out with that. No…No. Eight weeks ago, I was in Vermont with my sister…getting drunk and stupid…having sex. Cheating on my husband…who loves me. Who would do anything for me. I'm a slut. I suck. "Wow."

"Max?" Jill asked. "What is it?"

She looked at her old friend. It was one time…one dumb mistake and I'm pregnant. I'm going to destroy Kenny…my marriage…it has to be his. "I'm pregnant? We've been trying and…Wow."

* * *

 **8 Weeks Ago – Kenny**

"She's at her sister's bachelorette party. Are you old enough to drink that beer?" Kenny asked looking at Kim.

"Barely," she said, smiling at him. "So, Max just left you alone?"

Max, he thought, kissing me in the driveway. She just wraps herself around me like a sexy present. In those tight jeans, tank top, and ponytail. She did it for me, he thought, went back to her real color and grew it out…she looks so…that's the Max I love. "It's her sister."

Kim smiled at him again, pushing her hair back before laying her hand on his thigh. "We should hang out more."

He moved her hand and stood up. "I'll see you around, Kim."

* * *

 **Present - Lacos House**

I can't tell her, Kenny thought, it'll break her. We've been trying and… This is what she wants. How can I tell Max that we…hearing the door open and close? I can't lie to her. "Sweetheart?"

The worst wife, she thought, how could I do this? I'm going to destroy Kenny…my marriage…it has to be his. "Hi."

Heartbreakingly beautiful, he thought, looking at her in shorts, t-shirt and blown out hair. I just want to strip her down and kiss her. "You look great."

She smiled at that, as he combed through her hair, letting his fingers trail down her face. He loves touching me, this man loves me…and I love him. "You're biased. Kenny, I have to tell you something…Oh crap."

"Max?" he called as she bolted for the bathroom and he heard her vomiting. Following her, he watched her throw up everything in her before sitting on the floor and not moving. "You okay?"

She shook her head, as he passed her a towel. Wiping the sweat from her face, she felt the nausea simmering underneath it all. How can I have morning sickness at night? Oh, look how he is looking at me. Utter love and concern…It has to be his."

Not now, Kenny thought, don't ruin us right now. Not while she's sick. Helping her stand, he steadied her on her feet. "I'm putting you to bed."

"I'm fine."

"You are not fine."

Our baby, she thought, I have to tell him. It's going to be really obvious if it isn't his…like from the moment I have it. I can't do that to him. I can't let him love this baby in me for the next seven-months and…it has to be his. "I'm fine, Kenny."

"What's going on?"

I shouldn't have gone to see Jill…I should have just gone to a clinic. If I'm suddenly not pregnant…I'm so dumb. No, I can't. Oh, his gentle hands, he'd make such a good father. It's his…but if not? Leaning against his side. Just one more day before I ruin us.

* * *

 **8 Weeks Ago - Max**

"No," she groaned, rolling over in a strange bed and staring at the sleeping man next to her. What did I do? I'm naked… I slept with him and…No. It was a mistake. I'm out of here.

"Hey, Darlin."

"I need to go. This didn't happen."

He smiled at her, brushing back her hair. "I'm glad you came home with me, Max."

"This did not happen. Again."

"We always do this. Every time we're in the same room…Is that why you didn't invite me to your wedding? I meant to send you a present…do you need a blender?"

She looked at the black man she was wrapped around in bed. "Stop, Lucas."

"Does your cop husband know that we used to get high in high school and do this under the bleachers?"

Lucas, she thought, my high school love, who I sleep with every time I run into him. I knew I would when I saw him at the bar last night…My parents hated him, they probably still do…more than my dad despises Kenny. Kenny, crap…I did this to him. "There are things he doesn't need to know."

"Like us?" Lucas smiled, kissing her again. "I missed you."

She sunk into his gentle kiss, oh I like kissing him. We always…stop it. Pulling back, she just looked at him. "I should go. Sarah is probably wondering where I went."

"Sarah hooked up a waiter. You Stewart girls…"

Max groaned at that. "I know."

They looked at each other again, still wrapped around each other in a mess of limbs as he smiled at her slowly. "Well, we still are in bed, Old Friend. High school reunion one more time?"

No, we shouldn't, she thought…I just cheated on the love of my life. Drunken mistake, I could live with…this though? She melted into his kiss, as he pulled her on top again. Unable to stop herself, she fell into a familiar rhythm with him.

* * *

 **8 Weeks Ago – Kenny**

"Kim," he said, as she followed him out of the bar. "Come on. Go home."

"You really want to go home to an empty house?"

No, I want to go home to my wife. Ah, I hope she's having fun with her sister and making nice with her parents. Her asshole parents.

"You're really happy with Max?"

"I am."

"What about us?"

He felt his heart race at that. "A one-time thing…she's my wife, Kim."

"And she's not here."

* * *

 **8 Weeks Ago – Max**

"This was fun."

Max looked at Lucas, hating herself at that moment. It was, she thought, we did have fun a lifetime ago together until… "A one-time thing."

He smiled at her, handing her a mug of coffee. "More like six-times this morning. When are you coming back for Sarah's wedding?"

"She's getting married in Aruba…if she still is now," Max trailed off, looking down at the leggings and sweatshirt he gave her. "Do I want to know why you have women's clothes here?"

"For all the women I bring home."

She winced at that. "Really?"

"No. They're Sadie's…she crashes here some nights."

"How is your sister? Your parents?"

He smiled at her, as she leaned back against his kitchen counter. "Sadie is going to law school; my parents couldn't be prouder of their daughter."

Unlike him, she thought, the bartender. Both of us disappointed our parents growing up…and still do. The black sheep kids. It's what brought us together…it's what still does. "Good for her."

"She's going to save the world…I'm going to feed them drinks."

"The tequila shots did a number on me."

"Lightweight," he teased, wrapping his arms back around her and pressing his lips to hers. "You know I'm going to keep kissing you until you tell me to stop."

She looked at his lips hovering over hers before kissing him back for a long moment. Lucas… Damn it. Pulling back, she looked up at him. "We've done more than kiss over the last 12 hours."

"I made you scream, Darlin…"

She broke into a grin at that. He did…over and over… "I should go."

"You should," he teased. "Or you can stay. When do you fly home?"

"Tuesday."

He grinned at her. "Stay with me until then."

Two more days, Max thought, I already cheated on Kenny…what seven times in the last 12 hours? Two more days of just…before the fertility treatments…before the disappointment every month of not being pregnant. Two more days with a guy who just… "I just got dressed."

"Max, I can take care of that for you."

She burst into giggles despite herself. I want to have fun…feel young and sexy again, and not just a…a baby-maker. A failed baby-maker. "Why don't you?"

* * *

 **Present – Lacos House**

"I'm not sick."

"You've been vomiting all night," Kenny said handing her a bottle of water. "Let me take care of you for once."

She smiled at that. Tell him. If it's Lucas' baby…it will be obvious and…I spent all weekend in bed with him. I'm not on the pill…we had zero protection. I torpedoed my marriage to the man I love for a weekend fling with my high school love…and I can't stop thinking about him. Who sends me dirty and funny texts I laugh at. No, not sleeping with him again. He needs to know if it's his baby…this isn't fair to either of them. "I'm going to lie here all day. Go to work."

* * *

 **Present – Jill's Office**

She sat back, her heart dropping as she looked again at Max's pregnancy confirmation and the report of Kenny's sterility. Max's reaction to being pregnant, she thought, not thrilled after all their trying. What did she do? Who? She…Oh Max. She knows it isn't his…Grabbing her bag, she told her secretary she was going out to lunch.

* * *

 **8-Weeks Ago – Kenny**

"You love Max?"

"I married Max because I love her," Kenny said, Kim's closeness affecting him more than he wanted to admit. "She's my wife, Kim."

"You broke up with her."

"And I regretted it…We made it work."

"With Max?" she smiled, resting his hands on his chest. "She doesn't have to know."

"I'll know. Good night, Kim."

* * *

 **Present – The Lacos House**

"Jill," Max said, her relief at Kenny going to work going away. "What are you doing here?"

Jill looked at her for a long moment, still in her sleep shorts and t-shirt. "Are you alone?"

All that vomit, she thought, for my baby. "Morning sickness. Or all-day sickness."

"How did Kenny take the news?"

Max froze at that. "I haven't told him yet."

"You two have been trying to have a baby for two years. Won't he be thrilled?"

Max rested her hand on her stomach. "It's really not your concern when I tell him."

Jill looked at her with that. "Max is it his baby?"

"What?"

Guilt, Jill thought, that's what is on her face. Guilt because she… "Can I come in?'

Max nodded, I need to talk to someone. "It was a stupid mistake and now…it was eight weeks ago…so…this baby could be…"

Jill looked at her. He hasn't told her either. The sterility…what are they doing to each other? "You should think about your fertility tests."

Max paused at that. "I'm apparently fertile because I'm pregnant…Oh…crap…Kenny?"

"It's doctor patient privilege."

He wanted to talk before I threw up everywhere…He got the results, he was supposed to. "Kenny…does he know? Is that what he wanted to tell me before I spent all night hugging the toilet? Jill, tell me…I'm about to destroy my marriage."

"What about the father?"

She winced at that. "My high school boyfriend…I slept with him when I went to my sister's bachelorette party. I was drunk. I'm…Damn it. I can't have this baby."

Jill looked at her for a long moment. "Max."

I want to be a mom, and Kenny can't…I can't…I won't be pregnant again with him. My baby. My baby who I love already. "I love my baby already. I want to be a mom and…How can I do this to him? Kenny will never forgive me. I can't forgive me."

"Even if the tests say he's sterile…Max, these things happen. They aren't always 100%."

"I'm not on the pill…we didn't use a condom. It was more than one time that weekend…we just…I can't lie to Kenny. I can't pass this baby off as his, even if I wanted to. Lucas is…Lucas is black."

Jill looked at her for a long moment. "What are you going to do?"

* * *

 **8 Weeks Ago – Max**

"Naked," Max smiled, as they laid together. "For the next 36 hours?"

He kissed their joined hands. "I'm game if you are, Darlin."

She sunk into his kiss, before pulling back to smile at him. "Oh, what are you doing to me?"

"Something your husband obviously was doing wrong if you have to ask."

She flinched at that. "No…it's really good there too. This is just different."

"Explain yourself," he teased, rolling on top of her and pinning her to the bed. "Why are we different? Why are you, a happily married woman, in bed with your ex-boyfriend, who you agreed to spend the weekend with?"

Why, she thought, why is a good question? Drunken mistake is one thing…three days with him is a whole other layer of betrayal. Do I want to torpedo my marriage? I want a break…I want to feel whole again. "I could never resist you."

He kissed her and pulled back. "Talk to me."

"We've…we've been trying to have a baby and…it isn't happening. I'm going to start fertility treatments and…it's hard right now."

Lucas kissed her again. "You aren't infertile."

She gulped at that. "I know."

"We were 16, Darlin."

She nodded. "What if…that…what if it messed something up in me and I can't have a baby now?"

"You didn't tell him?"

"He's Catholic…how could I tell him…I couldn't and now…What if I can't get pregnant because I aborted our baby?"

Lucas kissed her again. "It was the right choice…as much as we talked about running off, eloping…we were kids."

Max let out a long breath and looked up at him again. "Do you ever think about…our kid would be almost 17."

He nodded. "I thought we'd have a chance to have another one."

Max looked at him for a long moment. "Do you know how much I loved you? Lucas, I would have eloped, maybe not at 16, but…later. I missed you in college, I wanted to transfer to be with you and…"

"And I told you no. You earned your spot at Brown…I was just…and now we're…Max," he sighed. "I miss you."

She gulped back her tears and looked at him. I should have come home to him…I made my choices…I'm happy. "Are you okay?"

He nodded. "We both made our choices…why don't we enjoy this time together, Darlin?"

She sighed, as they came together again. To say good-bye, she thought, we never said goodbye to us or our baby. Do I even want to?

* * *

 **Present – The Lacos House**

"Max, you need to tell him."

She bit her lip, stroking her stomach. Lucas… He didn't wear a condom the last two days, he knew I wasn't on the pill…we knew what we were doing. Our biracial baby… another chance. "How?"

"He loves you."

She shook her head. It's more fragile than that. We broke up over my hair…he was always afraid I'd leave him. Instead I cheat on him…it'll hurt him so much. I can't have this baby. I'll never have a baby. "You should go."

"I don't want to leave you here alone."

"I'm not alone."

Jill looked at her with her hand resting on her stomach. "You need to think about this."

"I'm not having abortion," she said softly. "I did that once when I was 16. My parents don't know, we went to Canada and…We never told anyone else."

"You did what?"

Max looked at her. "I had an abortion."

"Oh, Max."

"The father," she said quietly. "He went with me when I did it. He held my hand, we cried together…I loved him so much. We stayed together until I went to college and…we stayed friends with benefits…and now we made another baby together."

* * *

 **8-Weeks Ago – Max**

"I missed you."

Max smiled as Kenny kissed her at the airport. A different kiss, she thought, a very different one. My husband, my love…it's so different. "You did?"

He smiled at her. "You smell different."

She looked up at that. "What?"

"Your hair. Skin."

"Did you forget what I smelled like? I used my sister's shampoo. Do you like it?"

He pressed his lips to the top of her head. Not her sister's, he thought, it's…not a woman's shampoo or soap…No. She wouldn't…I trust her. "Max, I love everything about you."

"Hmm, let's go home."

* * *

 **Present – The Lacos House**

"You are a million miles away."

Max looked up from her book she wasn't really reading anyway to see Kenny looking at her. I don't know what I want. "I think we need to talk."

"Are you okay?"

She nodded pushing her hair back. "I'm good. Kenny, I'm pregnant."

He looked at her for a long moment, his heart dropping to his knees. She can't be…I'm sterile…How? A wrong test? For one of us? She came home from Vermont smelling like some other guy…What is this?

She looked up at him silently. "You're sterile. Jill let me know after she confirmed the pregnancy."

He stepped back from her. "What did you do?"

She wiped her tears away and shook her head. "I am so sorry. It just happened and…Kenny, I am so sorry."

"You slept around?"

"Not around…just…in Vermont. I got drunk and…Kenny, I…"

He felt his heart break as he looked at his crying wife. "You…Max…How could you do this to us?"

She wiped her eyes. "I didn't mean to."

"Who is it? Who did you throw our marriage away for? You know what? It doesn't matter. You and that bastard you're carrying?" he spat. "You can go to hell."

"Kenny!" she cried, as he slammed out of the house.

* * *

 **TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**7 Weeks Ago – Max**

She smiled, as she looked down at her phone. Luc…No, I need to stop this. Am I flirting with him? Oh, he always could make me laugh. I need to laugh more. Texting back a response that was way too flirty, she hit send before she lost her nerve.

"Sweetheart?"

She looked up. "Sorry. Sarah. Wedding stuff."

He looked at his wife. Something is up…she's nervous about this "We're going to be late."

Fertility, she thought, I know I can have a baby. I know I can get pregnant. I never told him…I can't now. "Do you think that maybe we should keep trying like we have been?"

"It's been two years of trying."

Tests, she thought, can they tell I had an abortion? What if I can't ever… "I know. What if there is really something wrong and…what if I can't?"

He pulled her up with him, brushing her hair back. "Do you want to have kids?"

"More than anything."

"I love you. We're going to make a beautiful family."

Max smiled at him with that. I can do this…if I have to tell them, I will. I want to be a mom. "Okay."

* * *

 **Present – Lacos House**

Max laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling, all cried out. It's over. He hates me…he should hate me for what I did. Spent three days in bed with Lucas…we…it was like being a teenager again with how we were. How could I throw away my marriage? Would I have ever told Kenny if I wasn't pregnant? Would I told him if Luc was white and I could pretend the baby was his?

"Max!"

She jumped off the bed at Kenny yelling her name. Oh, he's mad…he should be mad. Be sad…humble…apologize…let him yell. I'm pregnant with another man's baby.

"Hi," she softly, as he just looked at her. He's never…not ever looked at me with such…not hate. Revulsion? He's revolted by me. "If you need the house…I can go and…"

"To him?"

She winced at that. "No."

"Who is he?"

"His name is Lucas. I dated him in high school."

"Did you screw him then too?"

"Yes. He was my first love…it just…I was really drunk with Sarah, and we just…Kenny, I am so sorry. I know that doesn't mean anything."

"You went to bed with him. You let him touch you."

For three days. Three days of sex, laughing and talking…our lost chance. "I did. I'm so sorry. I love you and…it was a mistake. I'm so sorry."

"And he knocked you up."

She nodded. "He did."

"Does he know?"

"No. I'm going to tell him…And let him choose how involved he wants to be."

"Don't tell him."

Max looked at him with that. "What?"

"Let people think it's ours."

Max gulped at that, seeing how he was looking at her. "Kenny, what?"

"I can't knock you up…we can't have a baby. This can be ours."

Lucas, who held me when I sobbed in his car after. Told me how much he loved me, even as he cried along with me. He told me what a great mom I'd be when we grew up…that he wanted to have babies, marry me, and that he would always love me…I can't take another baby away from him. "You want to raise another man's baby."

"It would be ours."

She touched her stomach. "You…you want to make this work?"

* * *

 **6 -Weeks Ago – Max**

 _Saw this. Thought of you._

Max smiled as she looked at the picture of a puppy wrestling an empty tequila bottle. I need to stop…he's in Vermont. It's not like I'm hopping into bed with him…again. Is it an emotional affair?

 _I'm a drunk dog?_

They ex-rayed and probed my uterus and took a sperm sample from Kenny. I can get pregnant. Or at least I could.

 _You are far from being a dog, Darlin. You're an adorable drunk._

 _Adorable?_

 _Very adorable. When are you back in VT?_

Max stared at her phone with that one. I can't. Not again… I'm trying to have a baby…I can't sleep with Luc again.

 _Do you miss me?_

 _Every day._

* * *

 **Present – Lacos House**

"You're my wife, Max."

She looked at him for a long time with that. "Do you still want me to be your wife?"

"You know I don't believe in divorce…even if my wife cheated on me."

She winced at that. "I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I love you, even if you don't believe me, I love you. I just…people will know this baby isn't yours."

"How? Did your lover post videos? You announce it to the world that you whored it up with him?"

Let him. I cheated on him. I hurt him. I'm pregnant by another man. "No. It was…it was just the two of us. Lucas is black, Kenny."

"What?"

Hurt, she thought, I shattered his heart. For what? A weekend affair? I hurt the most important person in my life. "He's black."

"And you're having it."

She nodded. "I am. And I'm telling Lucas…he deserves to know."

"How considerate you are to him."

Max gulped at that. "You can hate me. I deserve it."

"We're not getting divorced. You're not running off with him…and that thing in you."

Max stared at him for a long moment. "I don't want to run off with him. I screwed up, I got drunk and…I never wanted to hurt you. I didn't…I wasn't ever going to tell you. Until…the pregnancy. Finding out you were sterile and…I couldn't…Damn it. Kenny, I love you. I married you…I want to spend my life with you. This baby…what I did…I won't make excuses. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for hurting you, betraying our marriage and…I love you. I love this baby."

"His baby. Your black baby."

"My biracial baby."

"How are you going to explain that?"

* * *

 **8-weeks ago: Max**

"We still have three minutes," Lucas smiled, combing through her long hair. "Let me enjoy them."

Max smiled at him, as he interlocked both his hands with hers in the airport lobby. "Thank you."

"For servicing you sexually?"

She laughed at that, resting her head on his chest. "Yes. It was fun and…I really needed this."

"Are you happy? Do you love him?"

Max looked up at that. "I do. We're just…all this trying to get pregnant, work…it's been hard. He's a good man."

"You're going to be a great mom. I knew it then and I know it now."

"Do you think we would have made it work if I kept it?"

"Your parents would have run me out of town if they knew. You would have run with me."

She nodded. "I would have…I would have followed you anywhere."

He broke into a grin. "We were young, Darlin. We would have been two high school drop out with a baby…but…I think we would have been happy. We would have made it work, I loved you so much, Max.

"I loved you too."

He combed through her hair again, before kissing her one last time. "Go home. Be happy. I'm glad we got to do this, to spend this time together."

She nodded, as they reluctantly broke apart. "I'll see you around, Lucas."

* * *

 **Present – The Lacos House**

"That I cheated. That I had an affair," Max said softly. "That you are a good man who gave me a second chance."

Kenny looked at her with that. "A second chance?"

"You said you didn't want a divorce and you wanted to pass this kid off as yours."

"It doesn't mean we get a second chance."

"What do you want from me then?"

You, he thought, I want who I thought I married. The woman who I promised to spend my life with. Who I love…who I still love despite what she did. Pregnant…crying…I still love her. I believe her and…Max. My Max. Everyone is going to know what she did.

"I'll do whatever you want."

He looked at her. "Is that what you told him?"

She winced at that. Three days…with Luc. Drunken and blurry sex aside, the rest was…I never talk about the abortion and the hurt it really caused. He's the only one. "It was just sex."

Kenny looked at her for a long moment, as she wrapped her arms around herself and sunk onto the sofa. Tears, shaking, my pregnant wife. My pregnant wife who cheated on me. Who I love more than anything in the world. "Max."

"I'm sorry."

"I need some time."

She looked at him for a long moment. "I'll give you whatever you want."

"What do you think this Lucas will want with your baby?"

"He'll want to do the right thing. He's a good person."

"Who slept with my wife."

She winced at that. "Yeah."

"What is the right thing according to him?"

She gulped. "He'll want to be part of it's life. I know that."

"So, the man that you slept with, betrayed our vows with, is going to be part of our life together? I'll have to see him, knowing that you and him…that it's your kid with someone else."

She looked at him with that. "Yeah."

"Max, I don't know if…I need some time."

She nodded. "Okay."

He sat down next to her, combing through her long hair. My Max… "I need you."

* * *

 **5 Weeks Ago: Max**

 _What do you call bees that produce milk?_

Max looked at her phone, at his joke of the day. Smiling to herself. _Clue me in._

 _Boo-Bees_

 _Oh, that's bad._

 _Are you laughing?_

 _No…it's too awful this time._

 _Why did the mermaid wear seashells?_

 _Oh, stop._

 _She grew out of her B-Shells._

 _Oh, that's worse._

 _I miss you, Max._

She felt her heart thump harder at that. It is different with him than it is here with Kenny. Kenny and me…fertility tests. How I kept getting my period. How I have a clean bill of health and no reason not to be able to get pregnant

 _I miss you too._

* * *

 **Present: The Lacos House**

Max turned her cellphone over in her hands as Kenny went for a run. He wants to make us work. We can work. Lucas. I need to tell him…this is the second time with him. Hitting dial before she lost her nerve, she chewed on her lip.

"Well, hello."

"Hey," she said softly. "It's not a bad time?"

"I always have time for you. Are you calling for one of my hilarious jokes?"

She groaned despite herself. "The one you send me every day is enough."

"What's up?"

Just tell him. It's not like we haven't been here before. We're not 16 anymore. "I'm pregnant."

"Yeah? Come on, you knew you weren't infertile. Congrats, Darlin."

"Kenny is sterile."

"Max?" he asked, as what she said hit him. "What are you saying? Ah, did I get you pregnant again?"

"Yes."

"Does he know?"

"Yes."

"Where are you?"

"Home…He's out for a run. He didn't want to be here when I told you."

"Are you okay? How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. Just morning sickness. Kenny is…he didn't take it well…but we're going to try to make it work. Lucas…I don't…I don't know how much you want to be involved and…Whatever you…"

"It's our kid, Darlin. I want in. No trip to Canada this time."

"He doesn't know that part. I also said it was once…one time…not a whole three days in bed with you."

"You really love him."

"I do…and I hurt him the worst way I could."

"I want to be there for you."

She bit her lip at that. Our baby. Kenny will lose it. It's Lucas' baby. "You want to see me get fat?"

"I didn't think we'd have a second chance at a kid together. Max," he said seriously. "I know you're married, and what we did together…I don't regret it."

She laid her hand on her stomach and thought of the tiny life in there. "Neither do I."

* * *

 **One Month Later – Jill's Office**

"There," she said, pointing out the small shape. "There it is."

Max stared in wonder at it. My baby. "She's so tiny."

"She?"

Max looked up at that. "It feels like a girl."

She's alone, Jill thought, Kenny has been out at bars solo a lot this past month. They still live together, they work together…but…a source of gossip. That he isn't happy about her being pregnant. "How are you?"

Max looked back at the screen. "How can I be anything but good with that growing in me?"

"You and Kenny?"

Separate bedrooms…barely speaking. Co-existing. He tells me he loves and needs me and pushes me away. I need to give him the space he needs. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Max."

"I cheated on him and am having another man's baby. It's not something I want to talk about."

"And the father?"

"He calls me every day to check in. He's excited about this."

"And you?'

"I always wanted to be a mom. Are we done?"

"Do you want to go and get a cup of coffee?"

She shook her head and pulled down her tank top or her still flat three-month-pregnant stomach. "I'm just going home."

"Max," she said, as she opened the door and froze. "Are you okay?"

"Luc?" she asked freezing. "What are you doing here?"

He looked at her for a long moment before breaking into a grin. "You're glowing. What do you think I'm doing here?"

She gulped at that. For our baby, our second one. Oh, he shouldn't look at me like this. This is why I end up in bed with him…He's always looked at me like this.

"I thought we should talk," he said, taking her hand in his. "Face to face about our kid in there."

She nodded, well aware of how Jill was looking at her. "We should…Uh, do you want to go get a coffee?"

"Tequila shots are out for you."

She smiled despite herself. "You know I love tequila."

"I know how you get with it," he grinned. "I missed you."

Max held his gaze. Someone who actually isn't looking at me with scorn or pity? Oh, Jill looks shocked…how did I get so close to him? He shouldn't be touching me, holding my hand, touching my waist…way too intimate if I'm trying to save my marriage. Taking a long breath, she stepped back. "Um, there is a coffee shop on the corner. On me."

He dropped his voice for only her to hear. "I've been on you before."

She flushed at that. "I'll me you there in a few minutes. Out the door, go right."

He pressed his lips to the top of her head. "See you a few, Darlin."

"Max."

She looked up. "I wasn't expecting him."

Jill just looked at her. She likes him…she was flirting with him. Holding his hand, he kept touching her…what would she have done if they were alone? "You shouldn't be alone with him."

"I'm a big girl Jill. I can take care of myself."

"What is Kenny going to think?"

Max looked at her. "He's going to hate it."

"Do you want to make your marriage worse?"

"He's the father of my child. I can't just ignore him."

"You touched him, he kissed you, and called you darling."

Darlin, she thought, he always called me that. It was nice to be touched. "We have a lot of history."

"Max, wait."

She turned back to look at her. "What am I supposed to do? Kenny won't even talk to me except to say…he doesn't believe in divorce. He should hate me. I did an awful thing and destroyed our marriage and he has to see me every day…like this. Growing this baby that he…I deserve how's he's treating me."

"What are you two going to do?"

"He doesn't believe in divorce," she repeated. "He told me he loves and needs me…but he won't talk to me. Come near me. It's like living with a stranger. I don't want to raise this baby in a house like that…and I love him. Despite what I did, I love him."

"Then why did you do it?"

Chemical attraction, she thought, our past, alcohol. "I can blame the alcohol, it played a part. An initial part. We have history, we went through some things together when we were very young, and…it just happened. And it was fun, I can tell him things…like how worried I was I couldn't get pregnant because of the abortion…that Kenny can't know about it. He doesn't believe in divorce or abortion and…Lucas made it okay."

"Max," Jill said softly, just looking at her with that. "Do you have feelings for Lucas?"

"Not like that. I'm not, we're not," she started, resting her hand on her stomach again. "We shouldn't have done what we did, but…I don't regret this baby. I regret hurting Kenny. I need to go."

* * *

 **Present – Sherriff's Station**

"You and Max should come," Carter said. "She and Sue can compare notes."

Kenny looked at him with that. Sue pregnant too…six months to Max's three. Max. Who I can barely look at. Who is glowing and radiant with this baby in her. His baby.

"I'll check with her."

"How's she feeling?"

Not vomiting, he thought, she's trying. She makes coffee, cooks for me, although badly, she's trying, I need to talk to her. Can I raise this baby with her? Can I trust her again? I love her…that isn't the problem. "She's good."

Carter looked at his old friend for a long moment. Something is wrong, the gossip is right. "You guys should come."

* * *

 **Present – Coffee Shop**

"You look nervous. Since when are we nervous together?"

Max looked at him with that. "This is different. I live here, Lucas."

"Ah, you're embarrassed to be seen with me?"

She shot him a look at that. "I'm trying to save my marriage after our…thing…and you getting me pregnant."

"I didn't get you pregnant on my own," he teased dropping his voice and grinning at her. "You were there, Darlin."

Three days, she thought, how could I have done this? And it was good…fun…he's making me smile, even now. Stop flirting. "I know…I'm not blameless in this. Kenny and I want to work it out…he doesn't believe in divorce."

"I know you love him. He's a lucky guy."

She shot him a look at that. "Lucky? I cheated on him and got pregnant. He…he wanted to pretend that this was his baby. He didn't want me to tell you. I couldn't, Lucas…I couldn't take another baby away from you."

"It would be kind of obvious that it wasn't his."

Max looked down, as he squeezed her hand in his. Would I have if I could have passed this baby off? Could I have done that? To save my marriage? She looked back at Lucas. "I know."

"Would you have? You know, if I was some white guy?"

"That's a moot point…this is you and me. There is too much…Do you want to be part of this baby's life?"

"Did you think I wouldn't?"

She squirmed at that. "I mean, it's you and me. We live across the country, we have a lot of history…I really think Kenny hates you."

"No offense, but I don't care what he thinks. Our weekend together, baby aside? I loved our time together, I like it every time we spend time together…whether we do that or not. What's growing inside you now? Max, I think about…I remember crying in that car with you. I think about the what if…if we ran away together…kept it…where we would be. Letting you go…it was right…but I miss you. If you want to fight for your marriage, I'm not standing in your way, but this is our kid. I want to be its dad."

Kenny wants him cut out. It's the one thing he's said to me. That he doesn't want him in our life at all. "Okay."

"That's it?"

Why am I holding his hand? Looking at their interlocked fingers in the back booth, before back at him. "Is that all you want?"

He squeezed her hand tighter and smiled at her. "You want to save your marriage."

"I do."

"Then no. All I want is to co-parent with you. I hope he's worth it."

He is, she thought, I can fix this. "I need to get home. Oh, here, look."

He looked at the sonogram picture and broke into a grin at her again. "That's our baby."

She smiled back at him. "Keep it, I have another one. But yeah…she's tiny."

"She?"

"It feels like a girl."

He nodded. "Are you sure you have to go? Not that we should do…what we're really good at. I just want to talk."

Dangerous, she thought, this really is. "I have some time. Another round of coffee?"

* * *

 **Present – The Lacos House**

"You cooked for me?" Max asked, watching him for a long moment.

Kenny turned to looked at his wife. Radiant, he thought, as she hung her bag up. Just looking at me…afraid and unsure. "I couldn't take the burned food anymore."

Max broke into a grin at that. "I think it's the stove."

"What's your excuse for the salt?"

"Uh, it's too salty for cooking."

"You make good coffee," he said, not taking his eyes off her. Can we? Can I really forgive her? "How are you feeling? I haven't heard you…throwing up."

She shook her head. "I think I'm done…time to get fat. I had a sonogram today. Jill said everything looks good."

"Can I see?"

She nodded, pulling it out of her bag. "Here."

Her baby, he thought, looking at it. This should be our kid…instead…she ruined us, and I can't leave her. How can I still love her? I've always loved her. "Max…this is…Can I go with you next time?"

"I'd really like that."

He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly to him. Feeling her stiffen briefly, she sunk into his strong arms. Max…can I do this? Raise this baby? Can I love it? It's a part of her. A part that'll remind me…she's had limited contact with him.

"Kenny?" she said softly. I need to tell him. He needs to hear it from me. Oh, this is nice. "Um, I had coffee with Lucas. He surprised me after my sonogram."

He pushed her back and just stared at her. "What?"

She wrapped her arms around herself, the closeness forgotten. "He wanted to…check in on me. Talk about…the baby. That's all."

"You couldn't do that on the phone?"

She winced at how cold he sounded toward her again. "He wants to be involved…and it's his right."

"Because you slept with him."

"I know."

"How long is he here?

"A few days…he wants to come back…be part of this. He wants to be here when I have her. We're going to talk to a lawyer, set up a custody agreement…He's not a bad person, despite…what we did."

"He knew you were married when you went to bed with him."

"He did. I knew it too. I made a mistake, Kenny, and hurting you is…I'll never forgive myself."

He crossed the room to her again, sweeping her up in his arms and kissing her hard on the mouth. Not again, Max, not with him. Sweeping her up in his arms, dinner forgotten, he carried her to their bedroom.

* * *

 **17 Years Ago – Max & Lucas**

"Marry me."

Max nodded, kissing him in the darkness of her new car that her parents gave her for her birthday. "Yes. Always yes."

He brushed back her hair. "We can run away…We're going to be a family, Darlin."

"You've always been my family," she said softly. "I love you, Luc."

"I love you, Max," he smiled. "And our baby."

I'm going to be a mom, she thought, looking up at her love…I'm getting the family I always wanted.

* * *

 **Present- The Lacos House**

Oh, wow, Max thought, lying next to him. Wow. That was…different. Great…but…was that him staking a claim? I'm usually not…he really…dominated me. Go with it…let him set the pace with us.

Kenny looked at his sweaty and naked wife. Mine, he thought, she is mine. "You ready to go again?"

"I don't think I can move."

He rolled on top of her, pinning her to bed. "You don't have to."

"I love you, Kenny."

He looked at her with that for a long moment. I love her too…I've loved her since I first met her. That feisty red head…she smiled at me and I was done. I thought she felt the same way…I never thought she would…I never thought I would we would, then we did, and…I love her. I just don't trust her. "I love you too, Max."

* * *

 **TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

This is going to be a five-chapter affair...

* * *

 **Present – The Lacos House**

I hurt, Max thought, what he did to me last night…it hurts down there. No, he wanted me…said he loved me. We can heal. "I laid off the salt."

Kenny looked at her, she is glowing. Pregnancy suits her. "What about you?"

"I ate while I cooked," she said, flushing at that. "I was really hungry."

"You're eating for two."

"She's the size of a lemon…she can't be eating that much."

"She?"

"I think it's a girl. No real reason."

Kenny couldn't help but smile, as she touched her still flat stomach. Not totally flat, he thought, there is something going on there…that don't think anyone else would notice. Ah, Max…she does love this baby. That she made with someone else…she went to bed with him…he did this…he's here. "Max."

"Kenny?" she asked, seeing him looking at the slight bulge that fascinated her. "Can I do something else? Do you need a refill?"

"You're not my maid, Max. Or chef…I'm glad you're not my chef. You're my wife."

Oh, I want to be, she thought, it's all I want. "I know. I was there."

"You don't need to do this…Max, we," he trailed off, just looking at her. I'll never look at her that way again…I don't think I can trust her the way I did. "Why did you do it?"

She froze at that. "Do what?"

"Sleep with him. Don't give me the alcohol line."

She nodded and leaned back against the counter at that. "Alcohol played a part. We were…it was hard with us. Feeling like a failure every time, I got my period…knowing we were going to have fertility and testing…He made me laugh, forget about my adult problems and…it was dumb, and I ruined the best thing in my life."

"Why is he here, Max?"

"I'm having his baby…He wants to be a part of that."

"You and him?"

"There is no me and him. It's you and me…if you…if you still want to try."

"Do you?"

She nodded at that. "More than anything."

He stood up and crossed the kitchen. Hugging her tightly, he pressed his lips to her hair. Mine, he thought, she's mine. "It's going to take a lot of time."

"We have time."

He let his hands drift down to her waist. "This…Max…The whole world is going to know that…"

"I can handle it."

My wife…her lover's baby. Her black lover…and she's going to love that baby. No matter what it looks like. Can I? Can I watch it grow in her, raise it with her…knowing this whole time…I'll never punish her kid for this. The kid is blame less. "Just like that?"

"Can you? The world knowing that…you stayed with me after I…"

"I want you to stay away from him. Zero contact."

"Lucas?"

I hate her saying his name…how did she say it in bed with him? When she let him touch her… "Yes, Lucas. The father. Your lover."

"He isn't my lover."

"Then how did this happen?"

She didn't budge as his arms tightened around her. "That isn't fair."

"Neither is you being a whore."

* * *

 **4 Weeks Ago – Max**

 _Why did the skeleton hit the party solo?_

 _Stop!_

 _He had no body to go with him._

 _I can't take the bad jokes…_

 _You love it, Darlin._

Max smiled despite herself at their ongoing texts, his bad jokes…what am I doing? It isn't cheating…god knows I already did that. Flirting…innocent flirting and his bad jokes. While doctors stick me with needles…the abortion, it has to be the abortion that is doing this. What if I had him? What if we decided…My parents would have disowned me. I would have dropped out of school…Luc and me…two high school dropouts and a baby. Oh, I loved him back then, reckless teenage love.

 _You got anymore?_

* * *

 **Present – The Lacos House**

She froze at that, hurt down to her core. I hurt him…that's what it is. He doesn't think I really am… "I'm not a whore."

"You're knocked up with another guy's baby!"

She held his gaze at that, as he arms tightened around her. Hurt. I really hurt him…in a way I don't think…He loved me, he trusted me…we gave ourselves to each other in a way that he hadn't before and I way I hadn't since I shut myself down after Lucas. "Let go of me."

"So, you can go to him? I'm surprised that you didn't hop into bed with him yesterday."

"I'm not going to bed with him. I don't want to be with him."

"You just wanted to screw him."

I did, she thought, from the moment we looked at each other in the bar. From his smile and wave…what is wrong with me? "I made a mistake."

"So, did I. Marrying you."

* * *

 **3 Weeks Ago – Max**

 _Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?_

 _Lucas…._

 _Nope. Then they'd be bagels._

 _You need to stop…your bad jokes are going to kill me._

 _Don't die on me. I'm buying the bar._

 _You're what?_

 _Buying the bar, making it mine._

 _Congrats._

 _Time for me to be an adult and not just…I had to grow up eventually._

* * *

 **Present – The Lacos House**

She ducked out his arms and put the island between them. "We weren't a mistake."

"What are you doing? Do you think I'm going to hurt you?"

Calm. Apologetic. I have to fix this. "You're pretty pissed at me…calling me a whore and mistake."

"Shouldn't I be? Yeah, Max, everyone is going to know that you're pregnant with some other guys baby and…You had to get knocked up by a black guy? We could have…no one would have to know if you didn't. You could have not told me what you did the…we could have had a family."

She looked at him for a long moment. "You would want me to lie to you? To pass off this baby as yours…for the biological father to never know?"

"You would have. If he wasn't black."

She gulped. If it was some random white guy? Some guy I banged drunk? I wouldn't have blown my marriage and life…of course it was Lucas. It's always Luc. "Do you have a problem because she's going to be biracial?"

He looked at her with that. "You think I'm racist? You ruined our life with this. Yeah, Max, everyone is going to know. You're pretty great at humiliating yourself, but you dragged me in it with you."

"Stop."

"You didn't tell him to."

I can't, she thought, he hates me…bursting into tears, she fled upstairs.

* * *

 **17 Years Ago – Lucas & Max**

"My mom is sick."

Max looked up at that. "What? Oh, Luc…Come here."

He looked at his girlfriend wrapped around him, her gentle touches and kisses making him melt a bit. "It's cancer and…Dad's a mess, Sadie is too young to understand and…"

She kissed his cheek, keeping him close to her. "And you?" He rested his hand on her stomach, where their eight-week-old baby was growing. "I need to stay."

She looked at him for a long moment. "I know."

"Max, our baby…"

She buried her face in his neck. Our parents, families…our family we were going to start. "You want to get rid of it."

"No. I love you. I love our baby."

She looked at him for a long moment. "I love you…Lucas, we…your mom needs you."

"But a baby, our baby…she can be a grandmother."

Max wiped her tears at that. Our baby. "Luc, we…"

He nodded, hugging her tightly. "We can't do it here…I saved up some money, Darlin and…we can go to Canada and…"

Max sobbed against his chest. We have to. I have to say goodbye to this life in me. For him, his family needs him…It'll be okay. "I love you so much."

He hugged her tighter. "I love you too, Darlin."

* * *

 **Present - O'Calleighs**

I can't, Max thought, how are we doing this? How is his arm around me and we're acting like everything is fine after this morning? The Brock's anniversary party and Jill is the only one who knows he isn't the father, my affair…and about my abortion. I'm surprised she didn't disinvite me. Kenny is drinking a lot and hasn't let me out of his sight. Like he thinks I'm going to take a stranger to the bathroom and have my way with him. Would telling him about Lucas, our past, would it make a difference? Would it make it worse? He can hate me for my infidelity and abortion then.

"Right, Sweetheart?" he said, his fingers digging into her shoulder.

She smiled at him. "Sorry, I was in my own head."

Kenny looked at her for a long time. Thinking about him probably. I know that was who was calling her all day, even if she didn't answer. I'm surprised she didn't run right to him. Why does she look so good? Why do I want to take her back to bed after I know what did? What's in her…Glowing, radiant, and so damn pretty in this tight green top and flowing floral knee length skirt…sexy girl next door. What did she wear with him? Nothing. His hands on her…him in her…did she…what did she do with him in bed? "Pregnancy brain?"

Oh, why can't we really be like this? The minute we're alone, it's all over…I'm just a whore to him. The mistake he shouldn't have married. "I think it's too soon for that. I'm going to run to the bathroom."

"Want me to hold that?" he asked, nodding to her purse. My phone, she thought, he doesn't want me…He thinks I'll go send dirty pictures or something?

Smiling sweetly at him. "I got it. Make up refresh and stuff."

"You look great. Who are you refreshing it for?"

Calm, collected, don't take the bait. "Only for you. I'll be right back."

Him, she's going to talk to him. Bullshit she didn't sleep with him again yesterday…holding his hand at a coffee shop? How can she think I wouldn't know? That this town doesn't know everything? She sat there for four hours with him before coming home.

"Hurry back."

She nodded, as he kissed her cheek. Smiling nervously at him, she ducked into the bathroom and let out along breath she didn't know she was holding. I can't breathe here. Resting her hand on her stomach. Smiling slightly at the very slight curve in it. That's my baby...I promise you, Kid, that you're going to have a great life. I love you already, even with…all of this. It's not your fault…and I can't wait to meet you.

"Max?" She looked up. Smiling slightly at six-month-pregnant Sue Pike. "Look at you. How are you feeling?"

Sue looked at her. "Max are you okay?"

"I'm good…I just have to go to the bathroom all the time."

"Are you and Kenny okay?" I can't, she thought, I really can't. Tears pricking in her eyes, she turned away, I deserve this. I deserve this pain and Kenny treating me like this. I can stay trapped in this marriage if it's what he wants to do to punish me for…and I love him. I never stopped loving him. "No."

"Max, what can I do?"

She shook her head and gulped back her tears. "Is too late to do anything. Just forget about it…I should get back."

* * *

 **17 Years Ago – Lucas & Max**

"You're okay."

Max sobbed against his chest, as they huddled together in the backseat of her car. Empty, I feel so empty…she buried her face in his chest and never wanted to let go.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear. "I love you so much."

Our baby, gone, she thought, just…it was so quick. That little life in me, just gone, the one our love created. "I'll always love you."

She held on tighter, his tears fell on her neck. "I love you too."

* * *

 **Present – O'Calleigh's**

Breathe, Max thought, just breathe. Looking at Kenny getting drunk by the bar, she let out a long breath. Smile be personable, people probably know…I did have a four-hour coffee date with Luc, I held his hand…god I flirted a lot with him. We talked about our baby, he wanted to know everything about my pregnancy, how I was feeling, how excited he was to become a dad and, how much he wanted to be there for me and her…and that he wasn't some crazy stalker. That I told him I was having a sonogram and he figured out there was one doctor in this town. I suck. I'm a terrible wife.

"Max?"

I can't. "It's a nice party."

Jill looked at her. How close Kenny kept her before shoving her off to the side to get drunk. How shaky she really looks…she does feel guilty, even if she is excited to be pregnant. Lucas…she was surprised to see him, but very comfortable with him. He obviously adores her. Oh, Max, what did you do? "Are you okay?"

She looked at her drunk husband. "It's your party. You don't have to worry about me."

"Your friend is still here?"

She nodded. Texting me…calling. Us trying to figure out how having this baby is going to work. We're not scared 16-year old's anymore…and we made a baby together again. "Yeah. We want to work out some of the details of…he wants to be a part of it."

And she wants him to be, Jill thought, in how she responded to him after her initial shock. She likes him, they have a past…she looked so broken up when she talked about her abortion, she was just a kid herself. How could no one know? How could they have just done that and…Oh, Max. "You can talk to me."

"You don't think I'm a whore?"

"Did Kenny call you that?"

"A whore that it was a mistake to marry."

Jill felt her heart break at that. That was just cruel. "It's going to be fine. He's hurting."

A whore, a mistake, that really rough sex…I destroyed the trust we used to have. How I think this baby being biracial, that we can't pretend that…she's going to be beautiful. "I'm going to get some air."

* * *

 **16 Years Ago – Max & Lucas**

"You need to go."

"I'm not leaving you," Max said. "I can stay here, go to State and…what?"

"Max, you got into Brown," he said, combing through her blue streaked hair. "You're way too smart for State. You got to go. You'll regret it if you don't."

"I can never regret being with you."

He kissed her again, as they snuggled on his family's porch swing. "Max, I couldn't live with myself if I took this away from you. You are the love of my life, and we're going to be together no matter what."

She snuggled in closer to him, nuzzling his neck. We will…we've been through so much. Our baby, his mom's cancer, this…and he always…he's my love. The guy I love, even if my parents hate him. How much fun we have together…he makes me laugh. He knows me… "I don't want to leave you."

"We'll always be together," he said, intertwining their hands. "You're my soulmate."

* * *

 **Present – O'Calleighs**

Max looked up at the night sky. I remember doing this in college when I missed Luc. And I did miss him…until…why did we grow apart? I hooked up with him every time I went home. We still…we grew up and apart. That intense bond we had, that is still there. He dropped out of college, started working at the bar…and I moved. My parents pissed I wasted my Brown education to become a small-town cop. A fresh start…I missed Luc but buried it. I suck.

"What are you doing?"

She turned to look at her drunk husband watching her. "Just…getting some air. I felt nausea."

"Aren't you done with morning sickness?"

"Pregnancy is weird."

"Or are you waiting for him?"

"No. I'm here with you. I want to be with you."

He grabbed her wrists and pulled her in closer to him. "You're lying."

"Let me go."

"To him."

Lucas, she thought, who I was going to run away with at 16. He loved every version of me. Studious freshman soccer player who volunteered…the sophomore who streaked her hair…the junior who got pregnant and was ready to run off and marry him…seniors who…he encouraged me to follow my dreams…and our adult life of random hook ups together. Luc who…what am I doing? He loved me with my blue and purple hair, nose and belly rings or super preppy in seersucker. "At least he isn't calling me a whore every chance he gets."

"Because you fucked him."

"And you're drunk."

"That was your excuse for being a whore."

"Kenny, stop. Please, stop."

"You could have told him that."

I didn't, she thought, he would have stopped if I said too…I wanted to kiss him, go to bed…the whole weekend and it wasn't just the sex. The stupid fun stuff, the card games, the doughnuts in bed, remembering a part of myself…him listening to how scared I was that I couldn't get pregnant…well, that…how we could talk about the abortion like adults."We should go home."

He pulled her close again, his fingers digging into her sides. "And do what you do best."

His hands, she thought, it hurts. Drunk, so drunk. I hurt him…can we get back to us? "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry," he repeated, shoving her back. "You're sorry?"

She steadied herself on the rail and caught herself. "You know I am. I know what I ruined."

Beautiful, he thought, my beautiful wife. "Come here."

She shivered, as he pushed her up against the building and kissed her hard on the mouth again. I can't move…I really can't move…Closing her eyes, she opened her mouth against his, letting his rough fingers dig into her. For him, I can do this for him.

"Guys? Oh."

Kenny didn't let her go. Flushed, begging for it…she won't go back to him. "I can't keep my hands off her."

"Max?" Carter asked, noting his drunk friend and his grip on her. "Everything okay?"

Not even close, she thought, it won't ever be again. No, I can fix my marriage. "We're fine…just got carried away. What do you say we go home?"

Kenny looked at her, as she touched his face, and wrapped her arms around his waist. Max…she did this with him…she touched him, kissed him…just like this. My whore wife. Who I can't resist when she looks at me like this. "We'll do what you do best."

* * *

 **12 Years Ago – Max & Lucas**

"Well, well," he smiled. "Look what the cat dragged in."

Max broke into a grin and crossed the park to him. Laughing, as he kissed her and swung her around. "Hi."

He put her down on her own two feet. "You back?"

She kissed him back. I haven't seen him in two years…A year abroad, working at Brown and…Oh, he looks good. "What are you up to?"

He kissed her again, drinking her in. Ah, look at her. Seersucker shorts, that girly top, her hair so long and shiny and natural…no more nose ring. "I missed you."

I can't resist him, I've never been able to. "I meant to come back, to visit but."

He kissed her words away. "How was France?"

Backpacking after a year there, she thought, I had fun with my friends…my boyfriend. "It was great…I saw a lot."

He smiled at her. "And the guy?"

She winced at that. "He's in France…I'm not good at long distance. Oh, Luc…what have you been up to?"

"Nothing as good as you. Selling pills," he shrugged. "I have to support them, Max. Mom's medication, Dad is…you know how he is. Sadie is still in middle school. I don't…Don't look at me like that."

His hands on my hips, she thought, his familiar smells and touch. "I know."

"We never judge each other."

She nodded, as she let him gather her close again. Drugs…it was different when he dealt weed in high school, we were kids…and…no, Luc, no. I can't… "Let me help."

"I don't need Stewart money."

"Not them. Me," she said softly, kissing him again. "It's always been you and me."

"Not lately. You're leaving to be a cop…I heard that. Your parents are livid that you went to Brown to become a cop."

"I want to help people."

"You going to bust me, Officer?"

"Deputy," she admitted. "Luc, you don't need to…Come with me."

"I can't leave them, Darlin. You know that."

She nodded as they looked at each other. "One more time?" "Do you even have to ask?"

* * *

 **Present -The Lacos House**

Max stood in the shower and tried not to sob, as she heard Kenny crashing around downstairs. Pawed at me in the car, she thought, before we…in the kitchen. Before he shoved me away again and said I smelled like the whore I am. He's drunk, it hurt physically and emotionally. He never talked to me like that…I'm not a whore. I want us to work…I love him. I love the honest, fun, great, guy I married… the man who I grew into this place and job with…who I thought I'd spend my life with. Who I had plans with…Not like this. Looking at the finger marks on her arm, she jumped as the front door slammed again.

* * *

 **Present - Starlight Motel**

"You're Kenny," Lucas said opening the door.

"You fucked my wife."

"And you're very drunk…Should I call you a cab?"

Kenny shoved him. "You got her pregnant and her head spinning. You ruined our marriage. You made my wife a whore."

"She's not a whore."

"You think she's going to run off with you and her freak baby?"

"She knows she screwed up…she feels really guilty about what she did. For whatever reason she loves you. She's a good person…who screwed up."

Kenny shoved him again. "So, you raped my drunk wife?"

"What?"

"She couldn't consent if she was drunk. You raped her."

"It wasn't rape." Kenny shoved him again. "You raped her and she's full of the evidence."

"She won't ever say that."

"Max wants to save our marriage…she'll say whatever I want her to."

"You really don't know your wife that well."

Kenny reared back and punched him, getting a sick sense of satisfaction as he broke his nose.

* * *

 **TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**This went through a few changes as I wrote it…**

* * *

 **3 Months Ago – Max & Lucas**

He grinned at her in the empty and closed bar. "Of all the bars, in all the places, you had to wander into mine, Darlin. Drink?"

Max smiled back at him, holding up her half finished beer. "It's past last call."

"Who are you? A cop?"

She giggled at that, as he took her warm drink. "I left my badge at home."

He tossed her a rag. "Help me lock up?"

She caught it and started wiping down tables…oh he looks good. Jeans, a snug red Henley, that smile…the teasing look in his eyes, those hands…oh I love looking at him. Her gaze flicking up to his. Those dark eyes, his chocolate skin with the midnight shadow creeping in, and that smile. Luc. "Are you putting me to work?"

Damn, he thought, drinking her in. She looks good…tight jeans, boots, some tiered and flowy top, all that red hair and that smile. "Consider it my tip."

She tossed her hair back, as she wiped down the bar at that. "How are you, Lucas?"

"I'm always good when I get a surprise visit. You look good, Darlin…did you have fun?"

She smiled at the familiar nickname and their comfortable closeness. "Yeah."

"You drunk?"

"Nah. Not sober…but not drunk."

* * *

 **Present – The Lacos House**

It is weird, she thought, running her hand over her slightly expanded stomach. I'm growing a person in me. I helped make a person. Gulping a bit at the silent house, he's sleeping it off somewhere. Am I horrible to be glad he isn't here? That I don't have to have rough sex and be called a whore because…I cheated. It was wrong…Luc and me it was never a soiled and dirty thing. Don't make excuses, Max, you cheated on your husband and got pregnant. He still doesn't get to bruise me, she thought, looking at the purple fingermarks…or call me a whore again. Jumping a bit at the doorbell, she frowned at the cruiser in the driveway. Kenny, she thought, no…focus, Max, focus.

* * *

 **3 Months Ago – Max & Lucas**

"I'm clean, Darlin."

She nodded, drinking her water. "Why do you still work in a bar? It's not hard?"

"Booze was never my problem. I don't use or sell. I remember how you looked at me, you didn't have to say anything, it was all over your face…your adorable face. Judgment…you were judging me and…I hated it. You grew up and I didn't."

She looked at their intertwined fingers on the bar. "You were better than that…Lucas, you could have done anything."

"Wrong side of the tracks. I got into that high school for track. I did okay in class. Meeting you there? Best part. Yeah, I do wonder…if my mom hadn't got sick, dad didn't lose his job and…

"You took care of them."

"You were okay with me dealing drugs, Officer?"

She grinned back at him. "Deputy."

"Like the wild west?"

"You should see the hat," she trailed off. "No, I was never okay with the drugs…the weed was the weed, but…I have a trust fund…I could have helped. I wanted to and it had nothing to do with pity or…I loved you, Luc."

He kissed her their joined hands before looking at her. "You're still the only one who calls me Luc. I wasn't taking the money. I made it work, I had my detours…but I'm good. Better than good right now."

Her gaze flicked back up to him. I get lost in those dark eyes of his…I always drowned in them. What am I doing? Luc. That smile, his gentle hands on my butt right now…too much tequila and my first love. My Luc… Oh, I shouldn't. Stop, Max, stop…you can't do this. Kenny won't ever know…oh, damn me. "Me too."

She's married, he thought, my Max. Happily married…ah, I don't care. We were always good at this. Smiling as she kissed him, as he pressed her up against the bar. Ah, we're good at this…His fingers tangling in her hair, he deepened the kiss as she wrapped her arms around him. Breaking apart, they just looked at each other for a long moment. "Come upstairs with me, Tequila-Breath."

She pressed her lips to his again, slipping her hands into his jeans. Just tonight. Me and Luc. "Okay."

"Just okay?" he teased, as they melted into each other's arms. Married, she's not acting like it…we shouldn't…I never stopped loving her. Kissing her again, she burst into giggles as he swept her off her feet. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him again, as he carried her the stairs to his bed.

* * *

 **Present – Sheriff Station**

At least he isn't glaring at me, she thought, Jimmy has been like a father to me. I couldn't take that. Kenny, he…he wouldn't have done this if I hadn't. "Has he sobered up?"

"He's asking for you. Max," Jimmy said, just watching her. "What's going on?"

Broke Lucas' nose? Luc who texted me from the hospital telling me to stay safe. That my husband was a lunatic. "Does he need a lawyer?"

"How do you know Lucas Cooper?"

"Does Kenny need a lawyer?"  
What is she doing? "Max, you need to answer these questions."

"Do I need a lawyer then? Can I see my husband?"

"He's a white cop who beat a black man unprovoked. It's on video. It's on the news. Max, tell me what happened."

She sat back at that. "I'm here as Kenny's wife and I want to see him."

What is going on here, Jimmy thought, who is Lucas Cooper? Kenny is going on and on about how Lucas Cooper raped her. She didn't flinch at the name, but there is something. "Come with me, Max."

* * *

 **12 Years Ago – Max & Lucas**

Max turned the pill bag over in her hands. "Luc."

"You know you're really sexy looking right now?" he teased, looking at her in nothing but her underwear and camisole holding his stash. "It's not forever."

"Where did you get these?"

"Max, forget it."

She didn't take her eyes off him as he took the bag and put it back under the floor boards before taking her hands in his again. "The bar doesn't pay well and you aren't giving me a cent."

"Luc, I can help."

"How about you let me take care of you, Darlin?"

She looked up at him, his warm and teasing eyes hiding his hurt and stress. "We always took care of each other."

She's meant for better things. Not for me. No…she would stay. If I asked her too…if I asked her again. Marry her. I've wanted to marry her since I first saw her playing soccer…that beautiful redhead. She smiled at me, that flirty smile…she was the first person in that school that was ever nice to me. She didn't even flinch when I took her a school bus that served hamburgers for our first date. Or when I kissed her under the bleachers. Or I couldn't afford to buy her a corsage for the freshman dance. She never made me feel badly about who I am or where I came from and I love her more than I want to admit to her or me. I have to let her go. "We got to grow up, Maxine."

"You never call me that."

He kissed her forehead and let her go. "I'll miss you."

* * *

 **Present –** **Sheriff Station**

I don't even know what to say, Max thought, as she and Kenny just looked at each other in the interrogation room. This is my fault, I drove him to this. I promised I'd love him forever and instead…I do love him. "Hi."

He looked at her for a long moment. "Where have you been, Max?"

"Pregnancy has it's perks. No one wanted to wake me up in the middle of night to tell be my husband was arrested for assault."

"I beat the shit out of your lover."

"We do stupid stuff when we're drunk."

He looked at her a long time with that. "Are you really with me on this? I need to know, Max, if you'll back me up. I know it's all over the news."

"I saw it," she said quietly. Lucas falling, the blood, how Kenny kept…no. He has that violent streak and…Luc has always had a gentle and loving…He fought back. Wincing a bit at Kenny's black eye. "He got in a few blows. You didn't have to…he's here because of the baby. Nothing more."

"You couldn't consent. You said you were drunk."

She froze at that. No, he can't…no. That's why Luc asked me. "What?"

"You were drunk and he took advantage of you."

She pulled her hand out of his. I was drinking, but I knew…I remember our talk in the bar before we had sex that night…and the two days afterwards. "No."

"You want me to go to jail? Lose my job? You need to say it. You need to make that statement."

"That's not what happened."

"You said you were drunk."

Shots, so many shots, she thought, dancing, laughing, we kept looking at each other. I was flirting without saying a word. Like a freaking magnet I'm drawn to Lucas...and we just looked at each other all night, the way he smiled at me, how warm he made me feel. "I was drinking, celebrating, having fun with my sister and her friends."

"He raped you."

She flinched at that. No. I can't…not even for Kenny. He wants to fix us. He wanted to pretend the baby was his and now this. He's trying in a messed up way. The wrong way. "I won't ruin his life."

"Like you ruined mine?"

"He didn't rape me," she said softly. "I had some drinks, I sobered up…we talked, caught up and…we kissed and…"

"He raped you. That's what I'm telling Wambaugh. Your call now."

It's over, she thought, I ruined us…we're at this point because of me. It doesn't give him the right to do this though. "You can go to hell."

* * *

 **19 Years Ago – Max & Lucas**

Oh, him, Max thought, her soccer cleats dangling in her hand, everything else forgotten as they collided in the hallway. "Oh, I'm so sorry."

Wow, Lucas thought, wow. Her. That really pretty girl from the hallway… "No, my fault. Hi."

She smiled back at him, very aware of her muddy shorts and t-shirt. I saw him in the hallway the first day. Running cross country. They said he was a scholarship kid and laughed at his shoes…my friends suck. "Hi."

"We have biology together."

She nodded, as he helped her pick up her stuff. "Yeah. You're new? You weren't in the middle school."

"Nah, I was in public school. I'm a townie. I'm Lucas."

"Max," she said, as they fell into step next to each other. "You're on track?"

"And cross country. I'm not good at ball sports."

She broke into a grin at that. He's cute. "I saw you running."

I see you, he thought, girls like this don't go for…she's a rich kid. One of the ones who…I've seen her with the popular kids. The rich kids. "Hey, do you have a lab partner yet?"

She shook her head. "Do you want to dissect frogs with me?"

"You're not one of the ones protesting to get out of it? Claiming it is too traumatic?"

"It's a frog, Luc."

He smiled back at her. Feisty, he thought, she called me Luc. "You in?"

She grinned back at him. "I'm so in."

* * *

 **Present –** **Sheriff Station**

"Lucas Cooper isn't pressing charges," Jimmy said, looking at Kenny and Wambaugh in the interrogation room together. "How do you know him?"

"He got Max drunk and raped her in Vermont. And he is here to do it again. Why hasn't he been arrested?"

Jimmy stepped back at that. Kenny beat him…he showed no mercy. Broke his nose and Cooper fought back. Cooper who asked me if Max was okay after he got his nose broken…if he hurt her too. "Max was intimate with him?"

"He forced her."

Her pregnancy, Jimmy thought, the timeline fits. "And the baby?"

"Your evidence is right inside her. He raped her and got her pregnant. She loves that baby and won't say it."

"Where is she?"

* * *

 **19 Years Ago – Max & Lucas**

Max giggled, as he took her hand as they ran and ducked under the bleachers together. "Oh, what is happening?"

"Did you want to go to another pep rally?"

She shook her head, and felt more mature than her 14 years. Forbidden, she thought, breaking the rules. "I always have more fun with you."

Lab partners, a hamburger date, he thought, talking to her. Her friends don't like me…no they see me as a novelty. I like her. Girls like this don't go for guys like me…do they? "I really like you."

"I like you too."

He brushed her hair back, smiling as he did looking at his dark hand on her pale cheek. "We're friends."

She nervously wrapped her arms around his neck and moved close to him. "Can we be more than friends?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes."

Smiling he kissed her for the first time and inwardly cheered when she kissed him back.

* * *

 **Present – Jill's Office**

"Is he okay?"

"Are you?" Jill asked. "Have you been crying?"

Just a gush of tears, Max thought, and I walked out on Kenny. I'd do anything to make him happy, to be us again, but not this. "I'm fine. Is Lucas ready?"

"Max."

"I got him a hotel room, a more secure one," she said. "And picked up his prescription. Is there anything else?"

Oh, Max, she thought, what are you doing? "What is going on with the two of you?"

"Nothing. Just this," she said, touching her stomach. "This is enough."

"He was asking for you."

Max gulped, as she followed her into the examine room. "Hey."

"Hey, Darlin," he said with a weak smile and wincing. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes."

"Oh, Luc," she sighed, her heart breaking at his splinted nose, black eye and swollen lip. She crossed the room to him and touched his face gently her thumb stroking the uninjured skin. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't you apologize for him."

Her gaze flicked up to his warm eyes, and saw that familiar twinkle that made her heart race. "Let me get you to bed."

"Is that an invitation?"

"You can hardly move," she sighed. "I got some food, water, your medication, and."

"No pills, Darlin."

She nodded, as he stood shakily. "Tylenol."

"And how is this?" he asked, laying his hand on her stomach. You're getting a belly under there."

She smiled at that, almost four-months she thought, our baby. "I know."

"Max," Jill interjected, a bit fascinated at the scene in front of her. They haven't taken their eyes off each other. "I want to see him in three days."

She looked at her friend suddenly very aware of their closeness, as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in closer to him. Oh, I think I belong right here. No, I'm married and…I'm so screwed. "Okay."

Oh, Max, Jill thought, as she wrapped her arms around his waist and smiled at him. What are you doing?

* * *

 **19 Years Ago – Max & Lucas **

Max kissed him in the school parking lot, before taking his hand in hers. "Hi."

"I thought your parents forbid you to come with me."

She kissed her boyfriend of three months before pulling back. "They think…they think we broke up."

He looked at her for a long moment. "Why do they think that, Darlin?"

"They were on my case…going on and on about how you're no good. I couldn't listen to them anymore and…I didn't care if they grounded me forever. I told them fine…I want to be with you. I can't keep listening tell me…"

"You can say it. I've heard worse."

She shook her head as he gathered her close to him. "Because you're black and poor."

"You don't think I hear that every day from people?"

"They're my parents and…I love you."

He grinned at that, kissing her again. "I love you too. Are you sure you want to go to this dance?"

Max shook her head, as they stayed wrapped around each other. "I'll go anywhere with you."

"Come on," he said, tugging on her hand. "Run away with me tonight?"

"Anytime."

* * *

 **Present – Hotel**

"You look good."

Max looked up from where she was putting his stuff away. "You always think I look good."

"You do."

"Do you want me to toss these?" she asked, pulling out the pill bottle. "I wasn't thinking."

"They are the second most tempting thing in this room, Darlin."

She looked back at him, as she made her way to the bathroom and flushed them. "You can't keep saying these sweet things to me."

"You're the mother of my child. Let me flatter you."

"I love being pregnant. To have our baby growing in me and…I've never felt more…feminine than I do now."

"You're glowing."

"And getting fat. I'm going to waddle, Luc."

"Ah, you're adorable knocked up."

"Why didn't we use protection?"

He looked at her with that one. "Max, come on."

"The first time we did and…"

"Come here," he said, holding out his hand to her and tugging her down on the bed with him. "Are we going to be honest?"

"Aren't we always with each other?"

"I stopped being honest with you a long time ago."

"What?"

He combed through her long hair. "I never wanted you to leave. I wanted you at State with me, I wanted to marry you the day you turned 18, I wanted you to stay in Vermont after you graduated…and I knew I had to get it together for you. I stopped dealing, I went back to school, I bought the bar," he said, his gentle fingers on her. "I made myself better for you."

"Lucas."

"Letting you go was the worst mistake I ever made."

"I would have stayed."

"I would have made you Mrs. Cooper."

She smiled at that. "I used to write that on my notebooks."

He pressed his swollen lips to her forehead. "Why didn't we use birth control? You tell me."

She looked at him with that. "I wanted to get pregnant."

"I want you and our baby with me. I love you, it's always been you."

She looked at him for a long moment, a little unsure of what she was feeling. "Lucas, I…"

"Pack a bag. Come with me, Darlin."

* * *

 **19 Years Ago – Max and Lucas**

Max lay snuggled up next to him in his bed, both in shock and awe at what they just did. It hurt, she thought, just a little down there. She rested her head on his chest, tracing random patterns on his dark skin with her finger tips. "Luc?"

He caught her hand in his, tilting her face up to his. Still the prettiest girl in school, he thought, there were tears…I saw tears. "Did I hurt you?"

She shook her head at that. "Never. Not you…just…first time pain."

He kissed her, as they lay looking at each other in the dim light. I don't want us to change, he thought, I want her to keep looking at me like she is right now. "Do you want to do it again?"

She nodded, as his gentle fingers continued to explore her bit by bit. "Yes. Can we…can we eat first? I'm really hungry."

"Pizza?"

* * *

 **Present –** **Sheriff Station**

She was very drunk, Jimmy thought, looking at the videos of that night. I've never seen Max that wild…or happy. Dancing, smiling, having fun…With Lucas Cooper lurking in the background. Smiling at her, watching her…he's comping her drinks. She knows he's watching her, she's smiling over her shoulder at him. Max, who just went off the radar after she walked out. Kenny doesn't know where she went, but…how does she know Lucas Cooper? Raped…

"How is your patient?" he asked, looking up to see Jill walking into his office.

Max smiling at him, very content, Jill thought, he's reeling her in. This baby, their history, she's putty in his hands. She's going to throw her marriage and life away. "I released him."

"Where?"

"Some hotel. They didn't say which one."

"They? Who picked him up?" Jimmy said, fearing he knew who. "Was it Max?"

"They're old friends."

"Kenny is claiming that Lucas Cooper raped her. Looking at these videos…she was very drunk the night he claims it happened."

"And what does Max say?"

"She bolted before we could ask her. She picked him up? How did she seem?"

"He calls her Darling. She has a past with him. Whatever happened with them…she doesn't seem like she considers it rape. She seemed very concerned about him."

"The baby is his. Kenny called it the evidence."

Lucas touching her stomach, Max smiling as he held her close to him. Them holding hands as they walked to her car. Him brushing her hair back and saying something to make her laugh before he let her go. She's having an affair… "She certainly doesn't think it's rape. Jimmy, I think they're…I think they're in love with each other."

* * *

 **Present – Hotel**

"I can't just," she started, his gentle fingers on her face. "I have a life here. A job. Responsibilities. Friends. A failing marriage."

"You have me and our kid in you. Come with me."

"Just run away and," she said softly. "And do what?"

"Run the bar with me. Own it with me. Raise this baby and the others we're going to have. Marry me, Darlin."

She held his gaze, as they wrapped themselves together the best they could with his injuries. "It's not that easy, Lucas. Damn it."

"Ignore it," he said to her buzzing phone. "Look at me."

She kissed his cheek, snugging in closer to him. "I can't. It's Jimmy Brock and I bailed this morning and…sorry. Hello?"

"Where are you, Deputy?"

"Why?"

"Max, where?" Jimmy said. "Are you with Lucas Cooper?"

She looked up at him. "Yes."

"I need a statement from you on him. On Kenny's claims."

A victim or a whore, Max thought, those are my choices in this town. I ruined my marriage, I'm pregnant by my ex, who I can't stay away from. "Kenny is full of it. I went to bed with Lucas willingly. It wasn't rape."

"Max, we have video. You were very intoxicated."

She reached across and squeezed his knee, smiling up at him. "I can be there in 10 minutes. I'm just down on Belmont."

"I'll give you 20."

"Everything okay?"

"Kenny made a statement that you raped me," she said quietly. "I'm going to clear it up. Luc, lie back, get some rest."

"Raped you? Like he knows anything about you and me."

She shook her head. Magic, she thought, chemistry…a connection runs deep. She leaned in, kissing him one more time and stroking his cheek. "Lie back…close your eyes and I'll be back before you can miss me."

"I love you, Darlin," he smiled, before he froze and collapsed on the bed.

* * *

 **TBC - Final chapter up this weekend...it'll be a doozy.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Present -Thayer**

Max cried until she had nothing left inside her. Luc who loved me, who made me laugh and think, who I could…Who was such a good guy. His heart, he was so excited to be a dad, he would have been a great dad. My Lucas.

"Max," Jill said softly. "Let me bring you home."

She shook her head. "No."

"You need to take care of your baby. Lucas' baby."

"I can't do this."

The pain in her voice broke Jill's heart. "I'm staying with you tonight."

* * *

 **Present – Sheriff's Station**

Kenny sat cuffed in the interrogation room as reality rushed over him. Lucas Cooper died…the beating I gave him…his brain was bleeding slowly and… Max. I killed him and she…Max.

"I don't have to tell you the trouble you're in."

"He raped my wife."

Max sobbing, Jimmy thought, not wanting to let go of his body at the hotel. How she looked at him in that last moment, squeezed his still warm hand and kissed his cheek. Whispered something in is ear…she was devastated. "When did she start having an affair?"

"Max wasn't having an affair."

"She is pregnant with his baby."

"He raped her. She couldn't consent. You saw the phone videos, she was out of her mind. Where is Max?"

Hysterically crying. "Jill took her home…She watched him die, Kenny."

"She blames me."

"You're being charged with murder."

* * *

 **Present – The Lacos House**

"I made you breakfast."

Max looked at Jill silently. "I'm not hungry."

She's so pale, Jill thought, in flannel pants, a t-shirt clinging to her expanding stomach and a messy ponytail. Red eyed and hurting. "Oh, Honey, sit down. You don't have to eat. You're shaking."

Lucas is gone, dead and Kenny in jail. I ruined both of their lives. For sex. For fun and sport in bed…I ruined my marriage and drove my husband to beat up my lover. And this baby…what kind of mom am I going to be?'

"You cared about Lucas a lot."

She nodded. That sweet boy in the hallway…how we dissected frogs in biology, he held my hand in the hallway, those first kisses that lead to…I loved him. Sex, oh it was so quick and bad in the beginning, but it didn't matter. How we learned to love each other in bed. Our baby. The abortion. Cancer. How he always told me I deserved more. "I did."

"He cared about you too."

"He did."

"Max, I'm so sorry."

She shook her head. "I shouldn't have slept with him. If I didn't…it destroyed the three of us."

"You're pregnant because you slept with him."

"I can't stay here."

"Your whole life is here."

She shook her head at that. "No. Kenny is going to prison. Luc is dead. I need to do what is best for my baby. I have a trust fund, I never touched it. I can for this baby. I can give her a wonderful life…this doesn't have to touch her. I can be better than this."

"You're going to walk away. Your husband…Max, there is going to be a trial. You need to talk to him."

"He killed Luc. My baby will never know their dad. Kenny, he…he gets so hurt. I hurt him so much and…why did I do this?"

* * *

 **Present – Sheriff's Station**

"He was defending his wife."

I don't think she was raped, Jimmy thought, she was broken over Lucas Cooper. "Doug, I don't think that's the statement she'll give."

"I saw the video of her drunk. Maxine was raped whether she admits to it or not. Someone that drunk couldn't consent. Kenny was defending his violated wife."

That's going to be his defense, Jimmy thought, even if she fights against it. Once she gets past her pain…she's not going along with this. Her baby. "I wouldn't ask her now."

"She's his wife. Spousal privilege."

Max really screwed up this time, Jimmy thought, I almost want to believe that Lucas raped her. that she didn't willingly have an affair and start this. Kenny lost his mind over this…I know how affairs happen. I never thought… "She's going to be a hostile witness, Doug."

* * *

 **Four- months ago – Max & Lucas**

"Say cheese, Darlin," Lucas teased, as he angled his phone above them tangled in his sheets. "Preserving the moment."

She kissed his cheek, as he took their picture. Snuggling in close to him, as he took another picture. "You feel good."

"And you are still the most beautiful thing I ever seen."

"Oh, you flatter me," she smiled, as they took some more pictures as he kissed her. "Lucas?"

"Are you going to get deep on me?"

"I can't think when you look at me like that."

"Good. I can hear you think sometimes. That big brain of yours."

She rested her head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. "I don't want to go home."

"Ah, yes you do. You got a guy waiting there for you who misses you."

I can never tell him, he thought, he won't ever forgive me. He wouldn't ever understand about this… "I know he does."

Lucas squeezed her tightly for a long moment. "He's a lucky guy."

She snuggled in closer. "I'm the lucky one."

* * *

 **Present – The Lacos House**

I can't think, Max thought, everything hurts. Lucas…his big heart. He would have been an amazing father, why couldn't I stay away from him? He asked me to marry him…he'll never…

"Max."

She looked up at Jimmy and the district attorney. I'll never say it was rape. "It was a party. Obviously, I was drunk then."

"This is time stamped at 9:22PM."

Max nodded. "I didn't go to bed with him until after the bar closed…that was 2:00AM. I stay and cleaned with him, we talked. I wasn't…not like in that video. I could have said no, but I didn't want to."

Jimmy looked at her. "We have the security footage, on top of the cellphone footage. It's was 3:24AM when you kissed him."

Max nodded. They saw that… "We talked for a long time."

Cleaning, they were both flirting, laughing, she didn't pull away from him. She kissed him…them laughing, her wrapping herself up in him as he picked her up. "You were sober."

"Luc," she said softly, choking on her tears. "He would never hurt me. He was gentle and kind and…he loved this baby."

And you, Jimmy thought, that's what Jill thought. It's all over her face. I think she loved them both. "That's what you're saying in court."

"I'll be the town whore over this…but Lucas didn't rape me. Kenny doesn't get to fabricate it as an excuse for his violence."

* * *

 **Two Months Later**

* * *

 **Prison – Max & Kenny**

I can't, Max thought, looking at her burgeoning stomach. This little girl will never know her father…and Lucas would have doted on her. He would have loved her so much. I wasn't ready to run off with him…but…he shouldn't have died. I shouldn't have cheated…but it gave me this baby. A piece of Luc with me.

"You came."

Max looked up, unsure of what she was feeling as she looked at he husband in the orange jumpsuit. A murder charge, no bail…the video of him beating Lucas gone viral. The white cop beating the black man to death…. Thinner, unshaven, she thought and still looking at me… "Jimmy and Wambaugh were riding me about it."

"Look at you," he said, looking at her swollen stomach. "You are really showing. You can't hide it."

"I don't want to hide it," she said looking at her 10 pound and six-month pregnant stomach. The belly that causes whispers, the rumors…about my cheating whore self and who the father is. She's going to be beautiful and I love her already. "It's like having a piece of Lucas with me."

"Wambaugh said you're not cooperating. That he is going to have to call you as a hostile witness."

"You killed him."

"Accidentally."

"You were drunk, you went over there to beat him up and he died because of it. What else is there to say?"

"I was pissed because he raped you."

"I'll never say that. You can show all the drunken video you want, but I'll never say it."

"You want me to go to prison then? He's dead, Max."

"And he still has a family and a daughter in three months. She's going to know what a wonderful man her father was. That he wasn't a rapist."

"You're having a girl?"

"Yes."

"You thought you were. You got it confirmed."

"I filed for divorce. I'm moving after the trial. The house is on the market."

"We're not getting divorced."

"Oh, we are. You murdered someone. I thought I deserved how you were treating me for sleeping with him…but you're just a violent ass who was having a temper tantrum. I'm leaving you. Just sign the papers and let me go."

"Where are you moving to?"

"Away from you."

Wambaugh said she quit her job. The trust fund she never touched…she will for this thing inside her. "Yeah, Max, just run away."

She glared at him. "I wanted to make us work but you kept pushing me away. I know cheating… you didn't have to do this. I wasn't going to leave you."

"He raped you."

Max sat back at that, her temper boiling. Luc's gentle touch, our fiery and wild weekend…the weekend that I shouldn't have…I know that, but I never regretted it. I regret hurting Kenny…not my time with Luc or this baby. "You really think I only slept with him once?"

"What?"

"I spent all weekend in bed with him. Because I wanted to. No one forced me."

He stared at her for a long time with that. "You really are a whore."

"No. You want me on a pedestal as a wife. I'm not perfect, and you know that."

"He died because you fucked him."

"He died because you beat him up and caused his brain to bleed. My daughter will never know her father because of you. And I'm so glad Lucas is the father because he wasn't an abusive violent jackass."

"Just a pill dealer. He had a rap sheet."

One arrest she thought, that made him stop. "And?"

"You really think that's going to help the DA prosecute? No one wants me in prison for this. You, my hostile witness whore wife, are the one that is going to be run out of town."

"I made my mistakes. I'm already leaving. I'm not raising my daughter here. They do have the phone footage of me drunk earlier that night. They also have the bar security footage of me and Luc, me much soberer, my very willingness to be with him. We talked for an hour before we went upstairs…it shows me making the first move on him. They have months of our texts and the pictures we took in bed together. It wasn't rape. I can be the town whore if it gets justice for Lucas. I want my daughter to know her father was a good man. Take the plea, Kenny."

"Max!" he yelled, as she stood up and walked away. "Come back!"

She blinked back her tears at her breaking heart. Never again. I thought we'd be together forever but instead…How did it come to this?

* * *

 **The Lacos House**

A fresh start, Max thought, rubbing her stomach looking at the boxes. The house we were so proud to buy six months into our marriage. How we christened every room in this house, over and over again. How we made it a home together…a home I thought we'd fill with our family. Make memories together…I wanted that so much with Kenny. The minute it gets too hard…this isn't fair. I'm going to be a single mom and the two men I loved…No, me and my daughter and we will be okay. Jumping a bit, she opened the door.

"Hi."

Jimmy looked at her for a long moment. Six-months along, he thought, glowing despite her wary expression. Handing in her resignation…this town full of gossip about her and Lucas Cooper. "You're packing."

"I have an offer on the house."

"You went to see him."

She nodded as she let him in. "I did. It didn't go well. We're not working it out. I ruined my marriage by…I'm a hostile witness."

"He took the plea, Max. Involuntary manslaughter. Minimum of three years and no more than 10."

"Good for him."

"You don't have to go."

She looked at him for a long time. "Yeah, I do. I'm not having my kid raised here. This town…my biracial baby who I conceived during my affair? Not in this town."

"Where are you going?"

First time I'm glad for my trust fund, she thought, it allows me to do this. "West. Oregon."

"Why there?"

"It's pretty. I can start over. Raise my daughter."

"You're having a girl?"

She nodded, smiling a bit. "Yeah. A little girl in here."

"Lucas Cooper's daughter."

She looked away for a moment. "I didn't plan on this. Kenny was the last person I wanted to hurt and…I can't stay here."

"I know how affairs happen, Max. You and Lucas Cooper?"

"We dated in high school, we stayed friends with benefits, I wanted to marry him when I was younger. We talked about running off and…I could tell him anything. I loved him in that reckless and teenage way, I think part of me still did. I had this irresistible pull toward him, and I could never say no to him. Jimmy…we went through a lot. I had an abortion when I was 16, it was his, and we…it was the hardest thing I ever did. We kind of clung to each other after, more than before…we never told our parents, friends, anyone. It connected us in a way…I loved him. Our time, six months ago, it seemed like a different world than I normally lived in. I never wanted Kenny to know and if I didn't end up pregnant…he wouldn't have. I wouldn't have told him, and I probably would have slept with Luc again."

"Max."

"Kenny keeps calling me a whore…He wouldn't have…I have to live with this and I can't do it here."

* * *

 **Prison – Kenny**

He stared at the divorce papers, covered in Max's signature. She didn't hesitate with these. She hates me…she made me a killer. While she gets to flit around, be a mom and live her life. She'll probably ruin other men, just like me…and even her dead lover. Living off her trust fund. No more than 10 years in here…sign these. Let her think I let her go. We'll see each other again, Sweetheart.

* * *

 **Baby Born – Max**

Max stared at her daughter, stroking her tiny limbs in wonder. I grew this in me, she thought, this beautiful baby girl. Looking into her startling blue eyes, her white skin and dark hair and she's Kenny's…how is she Kenny's daughter? We never did a second test, we just assumed…Oh, God. All this time...this beautiful girl…is Kenny's daughter.

* * *

 **The End**

* * *

 **Next Up: A few ideas floating around…we shall see where it ends up.**


End file.
